Mayo 15, 2009

I've been wondering whether or not to send another email out..... so much has transpired since wednesday night. I hate to overwhelm you with so many emails. I am not sending this out to everyone; as before I am sending this to some of you, who I know are carrying this ministry close to your heart. To be honest with you, this week has been a bit painful; I think that's what's moved most to write you because I want you to know how you can praise God but I also want you to hear of the things that discourage our hearts. Dealing with the girls this week has been sadder than other times. We've gotten to see more of their misery and really, we're heartbroken.

The literacy program was supposed to start yesterday. We went to pick them up, being it our first time. We ended up waiting about 45 minutes; when two of them finally showed up they said they were not ready and wanted to put the class off for another week. So we had to go back to R. empty handed and with their promise to be ready next thursday.

While waiting for the girls, I saw another one of them, L., who lives in the same guest house where 4 or 5 of them live. Oh brothers and sisters. I wish I could describe what I saw there. The guest house is a small building with many rooms. In those rooms, families of 3 and 4 people live. The rooms are SUPER tiny. One bed, a small electric stove, a dresser.... and that's it. L. lives in her small "house" with her partner and 1 year old daughter. No bathroom. There's one bathroom that all of them share. No running water in their rooms. So to do dishes, for example, she needs to go downstairs fill a bucket up, come up and wash the dishes right there. There's no fridge nor place to store food.... and the whole guest house is filthy and stinks!!! She asked me to come in, I sat down with her on her bed. She wanted me to pray for her, for "deliverance." I asked what deliverance she was talking about: deliverance from everything that is evil inside that room, and that all that is good would come in. I prayed with her and as we talked she asked so many other needs came up that I wasn't aware of.

My heart just ached to leave that place... I once again experienced that feeling I shared once, feelings of repulsion. I am so thankful for Jesus' example and grace. He dwelt among us, he took on our flesh. I think I am understanding a tiny bit more what Jesus must have felt when He lived among us. Sometimes we dream with having a home for these girls; usually the thought of having a home for them, a clean place, a place where they can focus on learning different trades and learn how to read and write and hear the gospel, is a sweet thought. But as I spent those minutes with L., the implications of such a ministry came in full force. We have often said we would love to live with them... but after seeing a bit more of the misery in their lives, of the pathetic consequences of sin, of their habits and lifestyles, I am also realizing what it would mean to live with them. It would not always be sweet; there are serious risks in living with them, and a life with them I am sure would be quite challenging. But then, if my Master did it, then there's grace sufficient.

I am thankful for a conversation I had with a friend today. He helped me to think through all this. Probably the reason why this is getting to be more painful is because we are committed to make these girls part of our lives more and more. After seeing so much misery there's no way we can turn back, oh but the contrast between our lives and their lives. It would be so much easier to just witness to them on Friday nights and then forget them the rest of the week. But God has opened a complete new world to us for a purpose. If He's commanded us to reach out to these ladies, He will give us all the love and compassion that we need. In and of ourselves there's nothing we can do.
Please pray that God would give us His eyes and His heart and that as we get to know them better and discover more hateful and horrible things about them, as we visit them in places that small so bad, and wonder how clean these girls ever get, that we wouldn't despise them, reject them nor even think ourselves nicer and better than them in anyway.

Two other things that I have found out since Wednesday:
*K. had an abortion. This is terrible.
*I think one of the girls is a prostitute because she's chosen to be one. I talked to her this morning and got to ask her a few more questions about her life. I don't know why she's working like this, but if she wanted to get out, she could. Her needs, financial needs are not apparently that big from what she told me.
I thank you so  much for your prayers,
A.M.